What do an English major and a football player have in common?
They get anxious over rough drafts.
My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him...
Why do horses make such good debt collectors?
Why did the pig stop sunbathing?
What did the octopus use to write his novel?
Why could no one recognize the sheep?
What kind of hanger doesn't fit in your closet?
Why did the baby wrap itself in paper strips and move to Egypt?
What did you learn in school today, son?
What's the best soap to use on St. Patrick's Day?
What did the portable fan say to the ceiling fan?
What has a lot of ears but can't hear a word you say?
What kind of fish will help you hear better?
What do you call it when an octopus leaves the sea?
What do dogs say to each other when they sneeze?
What kind of money do fishermen make?
What do you call a big fish who makes you an offer you can't refuse?
Why is Dad hugging the barbecue?
How does a polar bear build a house?
Why would a frog wait for the bus?
Which celebrity has the loudest scream?